Daily Blog: Dec 10th 2009

I haven't wrote a daily blog in ages. Why do people read blogs?, you can read something but not understand the emotion behind it you only see them as words. Okay you might of had a similar thing In your life so you can connect to it, or you might be going through things now.

I think I write a blog to get things off my chest, talk about things that I'm to scared to bring to the surface with family and friends. Its my oppertunity to open my heart and just splash its feelings on a empty white pieace of paper.

:-)

Lately I've seen our lives like our own personal picture. We have a empty peace of white paper, which represents our life. We need to live life so the draw represents our paths we choose in life, our picture defines who we are and what shape we take in this world.

Then comes the detail, the colours is your drawing bright and colourful or dark and bland, is your life good are you happy or are you sad.

Good things and bad things are sometimes balanced sometimes there's more good and sometimes there's more bad, we can't choose what fate holds in store for us, atleast if you don't live your life for you. Like a drawing you can take control of your life, maybe there is a dark spot in your life, you can erase It and make omends and try to make your life better. Like the drawing you will always know the bad things have been there but that doesn't mean you can't change.

I find that when we are stuck in our life or we need to make choices or we need to ask ourself what road we want to go down, remember the drawing, your given a peace of white paper the rest is up to you :)

---

It feels like I haven't seen civilisation in so long, after my operation, and looking after my nan I aint had chance to go out much, it seems like I lost track of the world.

But I'm gnna try and go out tomorrow and I have a photography session friday which I'm really looking for.

I want to start making a impression, lookin smart, looking like I mean business, in a sense looking after myself more than I have in the past.

:)

I will try to make the last thing short because a certain person will be reading my blog and well I dnt want to over throw her head with more worries and thoughts.

Here's the story, there's a girl I am so in love with, its hard to be with her and I will do anything to make tomorrow a better day for us. Things in the past few weeks have shown me that we should be together, it literally screams out at me when certain things happen, so what ever this means to you..."I know we are so amazing and perfect together, I am willing to wait to see what comes around for me and you because I know when the time comes, there's going to be one hell of a party in our life. I know I may have pushed you in the past, I know I might of questioned your motives. Life is hard for you atm you told me tonight you wished you could be happy without having to sacrifice anything, and my answer to that is, one day you will have the strengh to hold everything in your life that you love, and when that day comes, you will look back and think what did I ever worry about. I don't know if that person will be me or not but whoever it is will be one of the luckiest guys in the world to have a princess like you, okay put aside your tantrams and your moaning when smething not working out, even your lack of strengh sometimes. If you put a side all that aside they will see what I see..that you are Katie Louise Farbrother, all you bring is yourself and if you find that one that truely loves you, those little faults they will come to love because there part of you. No one is perfect but you are a real life princess in my eyes, there's not one bit I would change about you. So whether you bring beauty to my life or anothers I am glad to say that I know you because people like you are rare, I guess that's wht we must sometimes feel so lucky when we fall in love xD

Sorry that kinda wasn't short, and hey it is 3.51am I did come to bed at 2 lol.

I guess when you have something on your mind or if you need to tell someone something or do something in our lives, there's no time like the present :)

Goodnight to you all xxx
Sent using BlackBerry® from Orange

.....

I would be lieing to everyone if i didn't say that the past few days I have been walking around like a zombie on coke. I have been walking around like someone who is constantly thinking constantly questioning himself.

Don't we all do that, question ourself if we are good enough or not, and when it comes to love man my luck sucks ass with love, Im not gnna explain why i say that because words are not needed anymore.

I want it to snow, I love snow. But like all things we can get what we want sometimes can we. Or can we with a fight how much we fight for love depends on how much we love and how much we love shows.

I love you with all my heart and soul i would fight for you with my eyes closed always x

Forever and Always x

:-) Atleast in some form the truth is told :)

katie, do me a favour and yourself a favour
tell me what youve been wnting to tell me ?
now with no hesitations
22:55Katie
i love you and i want to fight for us because i believe in us

After a long thought..

After a long time thinking of this weekend, and trust me I have had all weekend to think, since most of my weekend has been peaceful. I have thoughts about my life and people in it and everything. I have come to a few conclusions.

1. I love Katie-Louise and I will show her how much I love her Life is to short :)

2. Christmas has began and I am going to enjoy it.

3. I am going to work for what I want

4. I am going to look after the friends I have because I don't have many and the friends I have mean alot to me.

5. I am going to continue being true to myself

This weekend, I have thought about everything more than there is here..

First Time

Says It All :) x

Audio Blog 01

Just something I want to get out loud

What I have Learnt...

Over the past week, I have been watching smallville and listening to a lot of lifehouse, and alot of things in life remind us of that one feeling. There was a scene in smallville when Clark was in the pouring rain looking at Larna, You could see it in his eyes, thats where he wanted to be more than any place.

I've learnt that opportunities are going to be in front of you and you need to take them because like life, they may not be back around again. But you can only show your love and what you have to give, if your not wanted or accepted then you either need to fight and wait for what you want, if its what you most love, or you give up.

I won't tell you which I am doing because I would hope my actions show which I choose.


I have always been true and always told you everything, I hope both of our dreams come true for our sake, because life doesnt seem the same for either of us.

Good Day x

So Many, But So Few

Why are there so many moments in life when you wish you could speak up and tell someone how you really feel.

Why are the so many moments in life which we waste, time is ment to be precious, so why do we take the moment for granted why do we take everything for granted?

I have made a promise with myself today, that I am going to live life being true to myself always no matter what the situation and no matter who the person. If someone wants to be here for me and someone wants to do this or do that for me, then there actions will lead there way in life and show it.

I have so many questions but to little answers, my faith is being challenged at the moment because I am in love and for all the wrong derisions we are not together. Is life so bold, I hope i will find that dream once in my life, the dream that there is no reasons behind love its simply 2 people.

Its a short one but Im in a mellow mood :)

To Something I Just Read

I have learnt not to give my opioion in our case because sometimes it feels like i am forcing you to do things, I dno i probally aint but I have given up trying to tell you that you need to do what you need to do for yourself, that is a lesson people learn in time :)

So instead I will tell you what I would do, after all everyone is allowed there say right?

A battle between my heart and my head. In your case its a easy one for me.

I would think about the choices....

1. Your head is telling you its probally best to cut contact etc because there is only problems at the moment because of him. Your head is telling you its best for "Everyone"? right...

2. Your heart will chase and long for those things we most love, so your heart is telling what you desire your right.

You will never be happy if you listen to number 1, because of the simple fact you probally believe its best for everyone..."but is it best for you"? thats what i would be thinking... but I have a theory on love and feelings

Our head is logically its ment to think, so when your brain thinks about love, it thinks about choices, opioions, problems and consequences of your actions, a brain does not make you fall in love a brain does not tell you when you know the other person is watching you because they love every fibre in your body, a brain helps you understand life and it helps communicate what your heart is trying to say.

Our heart on the other hand is the central part of falling in love, it knows the presence of love and it knows when you are in love. It doesnt thinking about everyone, it thinks about itself, and what makes it most happy. It being ourself btw.

What would I do?

I would have to follow my heart because it doesnt matter how many scenerio's and how many times i told myself something with my head, I would know deep down that I am neglecting what is most important in living a life. Being true to myself and learning to open up to love and people. Your head can't make you a happy person only your heart can tell you how your happy.

At the end of the day, Think about your body, what part of your body pumps blood round every inch of it, which part of your body knows you best, which part of your body will tell you when your doing something wrong, your brain might but its the desision of your heart that tells you whatever it may be.

So why fight what the heart desires when the heart will tell you, that your doing the wrong thing....But only the wrong thing for yourself. If your doing it for everyone else then the brain will win, and if you are a person who wants to live life that way then you have to listen to your head, but if you know what your heart wants, is true and is honest and is 100% then your heart will tell you what to do

Nathan

A New Song :) WIP

My eyes are tired,
I cannot sleep at all
The day is my night,
Night is my day till I fall

My mind is awake
It's trying to take me down
Pushed past my limit
I got to get with it somehow

When do you follow your heart
When do you know it from the start
People talk about it in riddles
Your heart is on the front line of your life

People come into your life
And people walk out
You see many truths
And many lies
When love talks to you, there's no compromise

To Guide You Through the darkest of your days

Question Time

did you get anything off your chest today?
What I have to say she already knows

want someone back in your life?
Yes more than anything in the world

Do you have anyone on your mind?
Yes always

Have you ever been called a tease?
Yeah, by her :)

Have you been in a perfect relationship?
Yup and I hope it will come back soon :)

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
If i need to, but not with her, I can't

Do you miss someone?
100%

When did you last hold hands with someone?
To long :( the last time I saw her, she was walking in the opposite direction to me :(

Has someone ever told you they love you and you didn’t say it back?
The people that matter always do

If you're sleeping and someone calls you what do you say?
arghh hello lol

Have you done anything you regret in 2009 so far?
Yes...

What was the last thing you cried over?
Last night, I was on the edge, and I couldnt hold it in, pure Hannah, sorry

Is there anyone you know that deserves to get punched?
Yeah, but im not a woman, Joke lol

What is something that you're looking forward to?
Finding out if my dreams will come true :)

could you handle a long distance relationship?
No

Were you single on your last birthday?
yes

do you and your parent/s get along?
yes

what do you hear?
Lifehouse - From where you are - the song has been on repeat and Its constantly making me think am I working hard enough to make sure I get her back :) and to help her :)

do you like to cuddle?
Yes please KF

who was the last person you talked to on the phone for over an hour?
Katie Louise Farbrother

who did you last fall asleep with, when?
My Pillow

Is heartbreak really as bad as it sounds?
It is when its not to do with your hearts but to do with outside things, when your keeped away from the things you love you do find it hard.

so you trust the last girl you were talking to?
With my life yes

what do you think about cocaine?
NO NO NO

whats the closest thing to you that is blue?
My cup :)

have you ever been called prince or princess?
No, the frog maybe?

honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
Katie Louise Farbrother

do you find it hard to trust others?
No, but you just hope they wont abuse your trust ryt?

do you care too much or not at all?
Too much

how fast does your mood change?
depend on the situation

i bet you miss somebody right now?
yeah i do

why do you think so many people cheat?
dont know dont care bastards everyone of them

is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?
yes xD incredibly Katie Louise Farbrother

whats something you really want right now?
Just to hold her again, even if its for the last time :)

who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Hannah, I suppose

are you slowly drifting away from someone?
Nope Im staying here :)

do you find the opposite sex confusing?
God Yes!! lol right answer right :P

what was the first thing you thought of this morning?
I need to txt her goodmorning :( and shit i got up late, my plan got spoilt

are you keeping a secret right now?
Yes

what if you had a baby with the last person you texted?
lol umm i dnoo she might be freaked out lol

is your hair longer than your shoulders?
no, it has been once

have you ever kissed anyone with a tattoo?
Nope

do you think it is disgusting for girls to drink alcohol and get drunk?
course not

have you ever kissed someone that was high?
Nope

who did you last go out to eat with?
Iain and his brother Curry mmm

does the person you love , love you back?
I know she does

could you last in a relationship for 3 months?
Are we talking about just me and my gf? then yes easily :)

when was the last time you laughed really hard?
That monday morning in the Cafe in Cannock

All Things Me

If you feel like your walking down a long road, and everything that comes at you, you have to face in order to move onto the next stage of your life, then I hope this blog will interest you. Its simply going to be mumblings of mine to do with anything i desire to talk about. But I warn you now, there is a girl involved in my life and she is the biggest part of my life which I want to mend, because then I can say my life is perfect. So expect some talk about love, about problems, about anything in the world that my mind can comprehend to think about.

So it's coming to the end of November and nearly the start of December. October 1st was not that far away but it feels like it at the moment, and December 1st would of been our 2 month. Its amazing how quick things can change, how life can just snap the things you love most out of your life. I have started not to think about the past because the past can't help us, it can only show us what to do right in the future. You need to ask yourself what you want now? and how your going to do in order to get it.

Whether it be, how your going to save up enough money to buy Christmas presents, or what your going to do to make sure you achieve the grades to go to uni, or to simply fight for the ones you love. There all big things and majority effect our lives. Each situation should be treated the same, you have to sum up whether you are ready to work hard, to achieve the things you desire.

There is a beautiful girl I know who is so wound up with all the derision she faces, that she probably feels like the weight of the earth is on her shoulder. I just want to tell her that, she has me here if she ever wants to talk and I know she has some of the most amazing friends, that will keep her safe. But if you don't find the courage within you to tell yourself and everyone how you feel about someone, when will you. You are such an amazing woman, you have took my heart and turned it into something beautiful you have shown me how to enjoy life and how to live life, now let me do something for you. If you ever feel weak, or that you are lacking courage listen to this because even though its probably a bad song in choice it says to me, like i hope it would say to you that you are in control of your life and it doesn't matter how far you climb or how low you sink, the people you love will always be there for you x



I think i am still going to get her a Christmas present because she is the one i want to spend christmas with and I want her to have an amazing xmas :) Whether she comes home to me or not, she deserves to be happy

For now, Take Care Everyone

Simply Guy