A New Years Blog

I have not blogged in a few weeks since December 10th 2009, lots of things have passed and happened and lots of stuff in my life has been good and some has been bad. Some things will never change, and parts of me hasn't gotten used to living with the idea that there is nothing i can do about it, because i am the sort of person that will put my mind to something which i love and want more than anything in the world, and to be told basically there is nothing i can do about and all i can do is just sit and wait it out to see what happens is like arghhh.

I think its because i like to be in control of my emotions and part of me wants to tell her that she is still loved more than anything in the world and i still want to be there for her and will never give up on her. I think we have gone through so much together and we have had the complicated of complicated relationships as they come that we are closer than ever but it feels strange i would think on her point of view because well of course were not together and she has to be careful of her heart and not to let it get hurt again, but today when we was talking i don't think nothing has changed about us as people and we still see the love in each other that we once shared its jst the situation that's changed. Well that's what id like to think anyway.

I am split in two halves at the moment because I want to talk to her and i don't want her to be uncomfortable about it, like i want her to just enjoy each other like we always used to when we talked, and then there is the part of me that is as you girls would say "over my heels for her" I want to tell her i love her and that not a day goes past or a year as its jst been new years that my feelings hasnt changed. She may think that shes been evil to me but quite frankly she hasnt and none of that has crossed my mind :) life is to beautiful to think about those things.

My new years resolution is one for me alone and that is to love myself because before i can love anyone else properly i need to love myself :) oh and my other one well that is a secret for people that i trust and know :D



This Video Tells Its Own Story



This Video, Listen to the lyrics and I think you would understand

All The Best

Nathan J